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Hypocrisy Runs Deep But I Am Shallow

by Noa Mal

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1.
i take it with a heart of gold i watch slowly in the field as it glows there isnt much time to contemplate the things i've done but i know that you'll be back when she is completely gone the world is spinning round and round it never stops until it does until then, i'll do things with a smile and the world is spinning round and round it never until it does until then, i'll see you around and i take it with a heart of gold i watch slowly in the field as it glows there isnt much time to contemplate the things i've done but i know that you'll be back when she is completely gone
2.
i write to believe that i am here but where do i go when nobody's home i cant even call, who will be there to pick up the phone? i want to believe that i could be saved just like what the pastor said to me when i was 3 i wonder how he is, how are the dogs? and mother, i'll never give you my real number and i'd hate to be like your sister funny how family reminds us we're free i'll drive by my old school to remind myself that i was such a lucky motherfucker thank god i dont have to be in that shithole no more and if i could choose, i would never let you near me i'd pick chemistry, not that shitty tle class if we met again, i'd never look at you why would i look at you? why would i look at you? why would you look at me? im not the one who took your eraser it was sally or nova, or maybe even peter maybe you're as fucked as you believe yourself to be cause the truth is you never did
3.
SLEEP 02:46
i dont understand you but i'll say that i do and you do that too you said i should be more honest but im sick of it so should you i dont need help i dont need it i dont need help i need some sleep is there a relief for this throbbing in my head it's been with me since i was a little kid and someone who has a mother will never understand maybe that's why i'm so attached (to you) i dont need help i dont need it i dont need help i need to sleep
4.
Your Face 02:47
5.
137 01:30
6.
7.
Zealot 01:10
I HAVE TWO PHONES NOW AND I USE THEM FOR DIFFERENT REASONS I DONT WANT TO USE THEM ANYMORE I'VE HAD MY OWN DEAL WITH IT I CAN'T SOBER UP YOU DENY EVERYTHING YOU THINK I CAN FALL IN LOVE YOU THINK I KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOURE CRAZY TO SAY ALL THAT CAUSE ALL I'VE EVER KNOWN IS TO WANT WHAT I CANT HAVE AND ALL THEY'VE EVER KNOWN IS TO TAKE ME WHEN I DONT WANT THEM BACK CAUSE ALL IVE EVER KNWON IS TO TAKE TIL IVE HAD ENOUGH AND ALL YOU'VE EVER KNOWN IS TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S ALL UP TO LUCK
8.
Shoot Me 01:08

about

"It’s unfortunate that this has happened. ”No. It’s fortunate that this has happened and I’ve remained unharmed by it—not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it." - M. Aurelius

all tracks produced, written and recorded by N.M.

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released October 30, 2020

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